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Tuesdays with Trish: “Software Update: Windows is Reconfiguring your brain to Trish 4.4”

March 5, 2013

Change can sometimes be hard, but it can also be awesome. It turns out that I’m kind of like wine, I’m getting better with age! Usually a lady never reveals her age, but I am here to tell you two things, one is that I am 44 years old and two, that I am grateful to be getting older and I would never want to turn back the clock! There is some kind of magical thing that starts to happen over 40, there are the obvious physical changes, such as rogue facial hairs (and other things that should forever remain a mystery) but the biggest change for me has been inside and how I feel about myself. I have spent most of my life being filled with self doubt and quite frankly hating myself, which makes me sad. Even though I present myself as an outgoing confident person, and I am, there was a nagging voice in my head that always kicked in and said that I was not good enough and that people didn’t like me. (Stuart Smally would not approve of that internal dialogue!) Someone recently asked me how I got into photography and I was surprised by my own story.  I told them that I got my first camera at 13 and was heavily involved in photography clubs all through Junior and High school, was always taking photos and loved it. But then did not bother applying to any art schools for photography because I knew my work was not good enough and could never measure up to what other students would be doing ( but that’s what I really wanted to do!). So I went to school for business, failed miserably, switched to psychology, did ok, and luckily found my way back to photography totally by accident. Aside from working in a few photo labs after graduation, photography is the only career I have had. If I wasn’t doing this I truly can’t imagine what I would be doing, because this is clearly what I was meant to do, and I’m really good at it! (yeah, I said that) Maybe if I had gone to art school I would not be where I am today, it definitely worked out as it was supposed to as I cannot imagine my life any other way. But how sad that I had zero confidence to pursue my real interest and passion, which is actually my calling! So thank you age for giving me what I have been looking for my entire life, the reconfiguration of my brain to now be my biggest fan, not my worst enemy. Trish 4.4, the best version yet! Here’s to everyone getting the upgrades they need within themselves to be and feel better every day.

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